Photo: Big Swig
A couple months ago I had asked our Twitter and Facebook friends, “what are things that fans do at shows/concerts that really fuckin’ annoy you?” Naturally, for being such a hot topic with show-goers, I received a huge response of funny replies. Some were a bit ridiculous, while others were dead on. After averaging all the replies and talking to a few of our music buddies we came up with the sassy list below.
If you’re like me and have been going to shows since you were a pre-teen (some 17 years now … old fart), I’m sure you’ve been guilty of one or more things below. I ain’t gonna lie, I know I have!
If you have any more annoyances to add to our list, please comment with them below!
Concert Etiquette – 13 Lame Things You Should NOT Do at a Show
- Chatty Cathys – Damn, this has to be the worse thing to endure at a concert: people running their mouths as though they were on a talk show. Not only is it rude to the performers and those around you, but also you look like a fuckin’ dumbass that shouldn’t be at a show in the first place
- Annoying Photogs – I’m not talking about the actual photographers that are covering the show, but the annoying kids that are constantly taking pics! Just like the Twitter whores, it’s all in moderation. Get a few snaps here-and-there but don’t make it your point of the entire show to get a zillion MySpace-like photos of you and your friend throwing up peace signs while the live act is your backdrop. And p.s. – Kill the fuckin’ flash!
- Karaoke All-Stars– It’s really annoying when you’re at a show and the person behind you is breathing down your neck with loud lyrics (and bad breath). We want to enjoy the show as much as you and probably want to sing-along too, but unless the band is asking you to sing-along with them, or if you’re shouting out a chorus here-and-there, please keep your singing to a quiet tone that doesn’t block out the singers’ vocals. We came to hear the musicians sing, not your all-star karaoke act.
- B.O. – I understand that some shows get beyond hot and sweaty, but please remember to shower and wear deodorant before entering the sweat pits. There’s nothing worse than having a great spot but the dude (or chick) next to you reeks of spoiled onions stuffed in gym socks. And p.s. gum goes a long way too!
- Bulldozers – All right, I understand we all want to be right under the noses of our favorite musicians but don’t rudely push your way through the crowd like a wild boar. An “excuse me,” or light hand on someone’s back goes a long way. Unless you’re in mosh pit or pushing the posers and douches out of the crowds, there should be no need for bulldozing your way through fans.
- Road Blocks – You make a better door than a window! I’ll never forget the tall Amazonian chick that was bulldozing her way to the front lines at the Black Keys show a few months back at the Palladium. This chick was seriously almost 7 ft. tall. My head was up to her hips! If you’re this tall, you should have no problems viewing from a bit further back and especially don’t park yourself in front of a shorty. (UPDATE: If you’re a giant and got to the show super early to camp out your spot, that’s fair game. Thx to @starbright31 @psst_jenn for the insight)
- Crybabies – Okay, this one may somewhat contradict our bulldozer clause, but when you’re throwing a fit about being pushed or butt-humped at a wild rock show, you need to get the fuck out! If the show calls for some serious moshing, crowd surfing and chaotic dancing, I suggest you get a balcony seat or hang out in the back. Some of us actually like to bust-a-groove here …
- Twitter Whores – You know who you are: the show-goers that are constantly on their space phones (iPhone, Droid, Crackberry) tweeting away and texting while they should actually be watching the show. I understand when some tweeps send two or three Tweets about a show (even a few more if you’re actually covering the show), but when I come home and check my Twitter feed and you’ve sent about 10 + Tweets, it makes me question your credibility. In the words of Frank Zappa: “You should be diggin’ it while it’s happening...”
- Suitcases – Girls that sport those ginormous designer (most are fake) purses that are so big you could put a midget inside of them, really should be paying for two tickets. Your purse is taking up the spot of another body! Ladies, please switch to a smaller purse when you’re headed out to a show.
- Hecklers – It’s really shitty when crowds heckle, boo or worse yet, throw unwanted things at a band. If you don’t like the band or didn’t dig their performance, there’s no need to be an asshole about it while they’re on stage doing their thing. Save the hating for your blog, Twitter, Facebook or word-of-mouth communications later.
- Guest List Dramatics– If you run any type of media, we’ve all had this happen to us at least once (but more so numerous times): your name is not on the guest/press list! Yes, it’s a totally downer but if you’re making a huge scene about it, you’re only making yourself look like a mega-douche and setting yourself up for failure. From actors at Coachella to small music blogs that think they’re “somebody,” I’ve seen the worst of temper tantrums due to guest list mishaps. Shit happens ….
- Ankle Breakers – I’m all for dressing cute and stylish at a show and even wearing comfortable heels every now and then, but there’s a time and place for 5” ankle breaks. I once got stabbed in the toe at Coachella while wearing flip flops (like everyone else) by a girl that was wearing some big ass stilettos. Thanks goodness I was a bit “under the influence” and didn’t feel the excruciating pain of my big toe’s nail getting ripped in half.
- Squares – You don’t dance, cheer, clap or even smile. Are you even breathing? As much as we love a band with a huge stage presence and crowd interaction, bands love and deserve praise. Get out of your comfort zone and clap those hands or sway those hips.
Words: Sandra Burciaga