TEA-BAGGING

HOT! Taking tea-baggin’ to a whole new level. Steep for 2 minutes until it’s hot and full of flavor.

BEN DOVER

NOT HOT! Big Red was hopped on the roids. They seem to have built on his ass as well.

TREASURE TROLLS

NOT HOT! We found an anorexic Treasure Troll in the park and fed him cheez burgers.

NERDS

HOT! Revenge of Los Nerds con Paco y Pedro! Nerd or not, Latin lovers are always hot, well, kinda.

T-shirts

NOT HOT! You can always tell who’s the tourist cruising the So Cal beaches from either Middle America or the East Coast. This guy played a game of shirts vs. skins, can you guess what team he was on?

SIX-PACKS

HOT! Who ever said girls can’t down six-packs? This is one sexy-bad six-pack that I’m sure many chicas have taken “down.”

BUTT CHEEKS

HOT! Check out this lil hottie’s peek-a-cheeks. A feathered boa never looked so good.

NOT HOT! Assless chaps: enough said.

BIRDS

HOT! She kind of reminds me of a pigeon. Must be the beak. But pigeon or not, we’d hold onto those sexy hips and fly away with her anytime.

NOT HOT! Watch out Tony Hawk, the real Bird Man is on the prowl in Venice Beach. Bird poop and all, he’s taken your name to a hole new level.

PARKING

NOT HOT! Really, now is this necessary? You should of seen the five-foot nothing roided out meat-head that came out of this car. As he wobbled his way to 24-hour fitness, I couldn’t get a clear shot with out getting caught.

BLING!

Not Hot! Looks like these boys went a lil crazy with the bedazzler one lonely Saturday night. Flashy jackets fit to make Liberace and Michael Jackson proud!

AD CAMPAIGNS

HOT! While hitting up the Venice Skate Park and Nikki’s with some friends, we passes by this AWESOME billboard-sized ad spread across a wall on the boardwalk: none other than Dustin Dollin passed out drunk on the side walk. The shit looks so real too! Touche Vans! Now that’s a proper advertising campaign to remember.

ASIAN ROCKABILLIES

HOT! Awe, isn’t this lil guy just the cutest thing. First time I’ve ever seen an Asian rcockabilly and he was like up to my boobs small (and I’m only 5’6). I just wanted to put him in my pocket and rock out to some Elvis Costello!

DIAPERS

NOT HOT! Diapers are meant for babies (as in three years of life and under), not middle aged men or any aged men for that matter. Guess this dude forgot to leave his fetish in the bedroom.

ANKLES

NOT HOT! Dayum! I’ve seen many people with their bellies folding over their belts, but I have yet to see someone with their ankles folding over their shoes. The term cankle has just been brought to a whole new level here. Thanks Dan for the pic!

CLEAVAGE

HOT! Yes, please clap your hands a bit more so we can see those boobies pump-up a bit more.

NOT HOT! – This chick needs to get her chest waxed!

KOREANS

Hot! I give this lil Korean fashionista props on his sweatshirt (and I’m not condoning drugs)! The best part is, he probably doesn’t even know what the words mean! Thanks for the photo Jake!

WINTER SCARVES

They’re great in the winter, but only douche bags in Newport beach would sport these in a sweaty bar in May. Dudes shouldn’t wear these anyways, unless it for functional purposes (the cold) or if they’re gay.

FYI: Don’t ever put my camera near your junk, I will blast you.

HOT GIRLS MAKING OUT

Hot! What can I say, we’ve all done it. Check out these hotties and one lucky man in a cab ride home to more fun and games. Oh wait, is that moi?

MULLETS

Mullets are never hot. Whether they’re fashion mullets or from the 80’s. My ex took these shots on the NY subway. Dude ain’t trying to be cool with his mullet and acid washed jacket either! That just his old skool steez!

BOWL CUTS

HOT – Lil Nicky (baby Black Label) at 08’s Vans Pro Tech Pool Party.  This cutie has the raddest bowl cut! Adorable!

NOT SO HOT – I ended up sitting next to this dude on a Virgin flight to NYC. I just wanted to laugh the whole time.

DICK

The best stuff cums from here. Oh and the Chado Tea Room in LA is the best spot for afternoon tea. No joke. I love that joint.

SUBWAY RIDES

What Jew knew about fat yamika wearing men on the NY subway at midnight? This guys was definitely NOT HOT and reaked of rotten onions and kosher hot dogs.

MATCHING OUTFITS

Just as tacky as their white demim, matching mother/daughter combos are definitely NOT HOT! Of course these two fashionistas were shopping at Mervyns! And don’t ask why I myself was there.

CUDDLING

HOT – Something every girl should have (that and a vibrator), whether they’re boyfriend is never there, on tour or just doesn’t give a fuck. Boyfriend arm: The Japanes know how to keep a girl cuddling.

NOT HOT – Awe lookie here, it’s emo shamu and his girl canoodling at the mall.

STYLE

HOT – A lil fancy for a skateboarding contest, but this hottie was stylin in her leopard print fuck me boots, probably with panties to match.

NOT SO HOT – Who the fuck wears overalls?! Didn’t that shit die out when Chris Cross died out after their one hit wonder. But really, I think we all really know what the BIG PICTURE really is here, like really…really!

BRO-DOZERS

HOT – Definitely not a “bro” in this caddy, and it’s definitely not in broville (OC or IE), straight up Compton!

NOT SO HOT – Small penis complex: the sad truth of all “bros”

MOMS

HOT – Now this is a grade A Milf! Funny thing, she ain’t even from Cali, but the midwest!

NOT SO HOT – Now this woman is from Cali, but for some reason I think she’s really from the MidWest. Must be the classy attire and the pack of oscar myer weiners attached to her side.

CRACK

HOT – If only a tree could touch you back, this could sure back that as up!

NOT SO HOT – This fat ass smelled worse than a bucked of rotting onions and his crack was blowing out some toxic fumes! Oh the dives in Venice, Beach.

GOING GREEN

HOT – A lil ghetto, but a lil green butt cheek dress never hurts anyone.

NOT SO HOT – I think Kermit the frog got stuck in her ass and exploded.

LOVE LETTERS

HOT – Nothing like some titillating visuals to go with some naughty love note.

NOT SO HOT – Awe, a love letter to Ryan Sheckler.

DREW BARRYMORE

HOT – No commentary necessary

NOT SO HOT – I was in LA and I think I saw Drew Barrrymore in a fat suit. Must be a new role.

JEWISH

HOT – He’ brew, the chosen beers! Brought to you by Schmaltz Brewing, Origin Pomegranate Ale is some potent shit! So if you like the aste of watered down beer, don’t try this.

NOT SO HOT – Orthodox Jews, must suck to have kosher sex! That is, through a whole in the sheet.

NIPPLES

HOT – Girls just wanna have fu-un

NOT SO HOT – A melted hershey kiss

SUPER MARIO BROTHERS

HOT – Mustaches are in! Instead of riding mushrooms and saving princesses, these guys ride bicycles and save gas.

NOT SO HOT – It’s the super ghetto brothers and their cousin Weezy, always gotta role with an extra homie!

BELT BUCKLES

HOT – Sexy ladies, flashy belt buckles, tis all good in the hood.

NOT SO HOT – This whole revenge of the nerds thing, is really getting out of hand.

RAIDERS FANS

HOT – Gettin’ choked by the Chargers!

NOT SO HOT – What the fuck was he thinking? Regardless, I wouln’t want to mess with him … scary.

HUMAN ADVERTISEMENTS

HOT – Sweet sexual chocolate always gets the ladies

NOT SO HOT – Sorry guy, better luck next time, BBQ is just to damn messy.

SIGNS

HOT – I hate when parents don’t watch their damn kids and let them run around like wild dogs.

NOT SO HOT – Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack!

POT BELLIED DRUNKS

HOT – This guy was the ladies man at the crazy Snow White Bar in Hollywood. That’s his bitch on the right showing some crack.

NOT SO HOT – Home boy couln’t handle his Schlitz on the New York subway.

ASIAN BARTENDERS

HOT- Cheezy ass portraits of old school Asian barmaids showing their melons (San Francisco).

NOT SO HOT – No bare boobies to be seen at the Star Bar in San Diego.

THE ROBOT

HOT – Doing the robot on purpose in a packed venue because you can!

NOT SO HOT – Having no rhythm what-so-ever, you inadvertently do the robot.

HIPPIES

HOT – Hippies gallivanting with their dorky sure confidence.

NOT SO HOT- An unsure hippie lost in a sea of stale hipsters.

WHITE SOCKS

HOT – Lil girl socks on a woman, reminds me of ZZ Top’s “Legs” video, classic.

NOT SO HOT – When the British aren’t accustomed to the sun at an outdoor music festival with record breaking highs.

BANDANNA SCARVES

HOT – The only exceptable creature who can sport this look, next to bikers and cowboys who use them functionally. And he’s cute!

NOT SO HOT – I don’t care who you are, your bandanna scarf looks stupid.

TREADMILLS

HOT – Gettin’ creative on the treadmill

NOT SO HOT – Gettin’ fatty on the treadmill (click here)

HELLO KITTY

HOT – Massager for the ladies if you know what I mean

NOT SO HOT – I’m walking out of Best Buy and some dumb as had all these stickers all over their rice burner, typical.

CAKE

HOT – Space cake in Amsterdam is the goods … (read the label)

NOT SO HOT – Skate Cake??? Whoa, and this was right next to the “baseball cake” … hmm

RED

HOT – That thong, thong-thong-thong …

NOT SO HOT – That red shirt really brings out his sun burned skin … smart

COUSIN IT

HOT – Although it wouldn’t hurt to get a fashionable doo …

NOT SO HOT – Someone give him some toner and relaxer.

A SANDY ASS

HOT – Sand never looked or felt better.

NOT SO HOT – Crack sand kills

BIKER GEAR

HOT – Pro skater Matt Ball can skate and ride a harley on the real!

NOT SO HOT – Now those are some quality biker shorts, you should have seen his aunt Jemima bandana.

FUBAR

HOT – Cute girl getting rolled out on a stretcher from Pads game.

NOT SO HOT – Big burley dude falling head first in a bar cause he can’t handle his liquor.

ROPE SWINGING

HOT – Drunk and beer drenched Czech honey

NOT SO HOT – Sunday Funday at fat camp

POLE DANCING

HOT – Two is better than one

NOT SO HOT – Bitch looks like she done shot up too much of the Hey Ron!

IRISH GIRLS

HOT – A couple cuties up in the Temple Bar district.

NOT SO HOT – Bucked tooth Beatrice

MOUTH PIERCINGS

HOT – Cute girl with a smiley piercing.

NOT SO HOT – Um excuse me, 95 called and they want their tongue ring back.

PUNK

HOT – Real punk rockers, with over a 100 hours of work on their threads.

NOT SO HOT – Tryhards with over 100 pseudo punk genres to their name.

PHOTOGRAPHERS

HOT – Cute friends taking pictures of you.

NOT SO HOT – Weird stalkers taking pics of you at the Padres game.

BODY PAINT

HOT – Naked female bodies in paint

NOT SO HOT – UK Dorks in paint at The Download Festival (a metal fest).

FEMALE BARTENDERS

HOT – These female bartenders in Barcelona, Spain blow away the over rated Coyote Uglies.

NOT SO HOT – The Coyote Crackies

DIRTY HEROIN NEEDLES

HOT – Picking up after yourself

NOT SO HOT – Fuckin’ litter bugs

TATTOOS OF YOUR FAVORITE BAND

HOT – Cute chick from Barcelona rockin the young Axl Rose tattoo

NOT SO HOT – Wow. This (Insane Clown Posse) is just as bad as a Kotton Mouth Kings scribble.

CIGARETTE HOLDERS

HOT – Now that’s gettin’ creative with a beard. Check more here.

NOT SO HOT – A hillbilly’s ashtray

FLAMES

HOT – Heating up some sugar for Absinthe in Budapest.

NOT SO HOT – Heating up heroin in your mom’s basement

GROCERY CARTS

HOT – Cute drunk cruising Byron Bay.

NOT SO HOT – Funny lookin dude passed out in grocery cart.

FISHNETS

HOT – Hot legs ready to do some naughty.

NOT SO HOT – At least this shot wasn’t a profile showing his nasty junk.

CHICKS IN BIKINIS

HOT – It was an itsy bitsy teenie weenie white bikini

NOT SO HOT – Run for your life it’s Shakazulu

SHIGH SCHOOL GIRLS

HOT – Awe, it was their first tradeshow.

NOT SO HOT – And their first R rated movie sleep over.

FEET

HOT

NOT SO HOT

G- STRINGS

HOT – Gotta love the Reef Girls

NOT SO HOT

PINK

HOT – Victoria’s Secret Pink Line

NOT SO HOT – No joke, this lady was at a fashion show …

ANKLES

HOT – This scientist has the best legs on the planet.

NOT SO HOT – Hot chick breaks ankle in stripper heels

80’S REBIRTH

HOT – Emily Haines of Metric can always pull off the 80’s steez with out looking stupid.

NOT SO HOT – Why, why why? Fuckin Tryhards …

NASTY

HOT – None other than MTV heart-throb, Simon Rex, who is now the oh so Dirt Nasty.

NOT SO HOT – Har Mar Superstar is nasty

FANNY PACKS

HOT (All Fanny Packs are stupid, and so are the wannabees that wear em’, but this fanny pack is pretty fuckin’ awesome … ha)

NOT SO HOT

GHETTO NAILS

HOT (What can I say, I love the Simpsons)

NOT SO HOT

THE OLSEN TWINS

HOT (Probably photo shopped but whatevs)

NOT SO HOT

T-SHIRTS

HOT

NOT SO HOT

FONDLING ONE’S OWN BOOBS

HOT

NOT SO HOT

GO GO DANCERS

HOT

NOT SO HOT

BATON TWIRLING

HOT

NOT SO HOT

BANDANAS

HOT

NOT SO HOT

WAXING

HOT (nothing like a smooth bikini wax)

NO SO HOT (poor girl, not only peeled her stache but skin)

COCAINE

HOT (Before)

NOT SO HOT (After)

AUSTRALIANS

HOT (Aussie skater Richard Flude, too bad he’s horrible at kareoki)

NOT SO HOT (Aussie liquor store clerk)

SKINNY

HOT (Beautifully nimble Kate Moss)

NOT SO HOT

MINI BIKES

HOT (Australian hottie and Pro BMXer, Corey Bohan on a lil bike)

AND NOT SO HOT

ASIANS ( I dedicate this one to my favorite chinita, you should let me put your T-bag photo up here)

HOT

and NOT SO HOT

SWEAT

HOT

and NOT SO HOT

LUSCIOUS LIPS

HOT (So so so hot)

NOT SO HOT (WTF! Botox gone bad!)

BIG BOOTIES

HOT

NOT SO HOT

TATTOOS

HOT (Pro skater Chad Knight has some sic ink)

NOT SO HOT (Who the hell tattoos lame clothing companies? These dummies do)

LEATHER

HOT (Halle Berry as Cat Woman)

NOT SO HOT Ricardo

BEARDS

HOT (Dan Auerback of the Black Keys)

NOT SO HOT Bin Laden

BIKES

HOT (Emerica Wild Ride)

AND NOT SO HOT

TAN LINES

Hot

and not so hot