Photo by MTV Style

My opinions on the following may be deemed as cynical blurbs but I assure you that I do find all of these musical figures admirable in their own right. They are critical pieces in the pop and alternative musical lexicon but unfortunately they have been used up and overworked in troves by the masses because they hold such a special place in our hearts. To put it bluntly, these costumes are played out!

What better time than Halloween, the one night a year when it is customary to dress in costume and we are granted express permission to emulate someone else’s image, summon their power and are afforded the opportunity to live vicariously through their personas. But for the love of god and puppies, can we just not?! I beg of you that just this one time we try something different. And in the event that I incite any haters’ rage and am mauled by a Madonna cone-boob, please tell my mother I love her….and Happy Halloween!

1. Lady Gaga – I’m not even sure she has a distinct style, now that she’s so far down the well of fame and because her outfits change more often than a diarrhetic baby’s diaper. It does give you the chance to pretty much wear whatever you want and then slap on the Lady Gaga label. Any efforts to copy Lady Gaga will be one upped by a drag queen at the West Hollywood parade who will be pulling it off ten times better.

2. Weird Al – 2014 served as a major and well-deserved comeback for the king of parody pop. While we can’t get enough of it because the man is a fun loving, maniacal genius, the thought of accidentally eating fistfuls of faux moptops for every self-proclaimed geek who dons a curly wig and a Hawaiin shirt is just a tad annoying. You don’t have to copy him to a tea to be white and nerdy.

3. Slash / Guns N’ Roses – Guns n’ Roses and their instantly recognizable guitarist Slash are staples of ’80s butt-rock anthems and their style is an easy one to pull off. Hush now, sweet child of mine! I’m sorry (not sorry) to say that this look can be summed up in one word – haggard. Not to mention, you’re just adding a wig/hat/bandana to your usual Sunset Strip night out gear (which you wore last weekend). 0 effort points.

However, we’re so down with the baby Prince costume.

4. Prince – Sultry. Funky. Hot shit. The power and persuasion of Prince is hard to defy. Our desire to tear through vintage shops in search of that famed purple velvet jacket and to draw that signature pencil thin mustache upon our faces is practically irresistible, upon All Hallows’ Eve. The national enthusiasm to dress up like The Purple One is undeniable (even Dave Chapelle couldn’t resist), but I’m begging you nasty girl, to give it up.

5. Madonna (especially with the cone boobs) – Before there was the sight gag princess Miley Cyrus or the almighty r&b diva Beyonce, there was a fierce, controversial pop figure who commanded the world’s explicit attention: Madonna. We praise her, we thank her, but what we should stop doing is dressing up like her for Halloween; especially Madonna with the cone boobs, circa her Like A Prayer tour days. Madonna has moved on to focus on philanthropic efforts, Kabbalah and taming now teen Lourdes. So why can’t we move on too? At this rate the attempts to liken oneself to the Queen of Pop teeters on the edge of mockery and we should just kick this bad habit to the curb.

6. Danzig / The Misfits – You’re dark, edgy and you like Danzig and The Misfits. Of course you do, he’s our beloved minister of mayhem and without him and The Misfits we are frankly fairly ordinary and our sense of badass pride is greatly diminished. You, everyone else and their mother in Southern California agrees.  Every time a Misfits t-shirt is sold at Hot Topic the shock value plummets. Please consider going as Cheetah Chrome, Johnny Thunders or if you’re gross enough, GG Allin.

Words: Emily Saex