OMG … FYF is four days away! Are you ready? This here FYF post is for the ladies, particularly the ladies with boobs (no so much for the mosquito bites). If you’ve ever been to a hot summer music festival, you’re more than familiar with the perils of boob sweat. It’s supposed to hit the mid 80s this weekend at FYF in the sparsely shaded Los Angeles State Historic Park. Avoid those dreadful under titty sweat stains with our 4 WAYS TO AVOID BOOB SWEAT AT FYF!
#1: Don’t Wear a Gold Lamé Bandeau: or any other color of lamé, for that matter. I don’t know what God-awful “festival fashion” American Apparel is pushing this season, but if it sticks to your skin even in temperate weather, it’s going to be sweaty hell for your boobs come FYF.
#2: Wear A Fucking Bra: We all know festivals are just a musical excuse to wear as little clothing as possible (evidenced by the mass amount of butt cheeks you see hangin’ out), but do us ALL a favor and don’t skip wearing a bra. Avoid synthetic materials (like the gold lamé, see above) and stick to a made out of cotton — anything else creates the perfect environment for sweat to pool together in the valley of your cleavage. Plenty of things belong in that V, sweat is not one of them.
#3: Buy a Boob-Sweat Specific Product: You can use regular anti-perspirant, if you don’t mind your tatas smelling like teen spirit, I guess. Or you can buy Fresh Breasts, which was specifically made for boobs. It applies like a cream and dries like a powder, and dudes, you’re in luck: There’s also one called FRESH BALLS. I’ll let you figure out what that’s for.
#4: Use a Pantyliner: The ultimate in ghetto sweat protection. If you don’t think you’ll be getting lucky — or hell, just don’t care — stick a pantyliner underneath each of your boobs. They’ll soak up anything you sweat out, and you can just toss them out at the end of the night. Gross, but functional — just like every festival beauty routine should be.
Ladies, how do you avoid boob sweat? Let us know your beauty tips in a comment below!
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