UPDATE: Coachella 2020 has officially been postponed until October, 2020. More information on the new dates and Goldenvoice’s official statement can be found here.
2020 Coachella is underway! Alright, dudes. The Coachella fashion dos and don’ts isn’t just for the ladies, it’s for you men too! Last week we posted, “Coachella fashion dos and don’ts for the ladies,” as promised, here’s your Coachella guide to radiating some stylish swagger.
Check out our “Coachella fashion dos and don’ts for the men” below. If you have a fashion do or don’t of your own, let us know in a comment below.
Coachella Fashion DO — wear butt-huggers. Not only do I think colored and/or patterned underwear is sexy on a man — but you have to admit — at a hot and sweaty music festival, briefs helps preserve your package. We don’t want you dripping nasty you-know-what-sweat down your legs because you decided to go commando under your shorts. Think of those fun and tight briefs as your swamp-catcher. I like these colorful boxer briefs, or these awesome tie dye undies and boxers. And if you really want to impress the ladies, get these … he he he.
Coachella Fashion DON’T — dress like a music festival dork and wear something furry like this bozo (or these stupid spirit hoods). It’s a music festival, not your baby nephew’s birthday party. Not to mention, you’ll be sweating up a storm and will surely be stinking like a 16-year-old’s Vans. And mind you, this 16-year-old probably doesn’t wear socks with his Vans and has worn them everyday for two years. That’s the kind of stink you’ll be stinking.
Coachella Fashion DO — wear cut-off jean shorts, shorts, and short shorts. A lot of guys are afraid to sport these types of shorts because they fear looking like a “hipster” or some other silly excuse. But you guys, it looks stylish, it’s comfy, and you totally look cute. Even if your legs are pasty white or super skinny, throw some sunblock on and give those legs some color! P.S. Board shorts are kind of lame. You can wear them if you plan on getting wet in the Do Lab, are attending a pool party or if you’re a Coors Light-crushing bro. Oh, and DO NOT wear these shorts.
Coachella Fashion DON’T — wear stupid gimmick t-shirts. You know what I’m talking about, those immature and idiotic shock-value t’s that emblazon your chest with “I Love Haters” or “1-800 EAT SHIT“. Leave that immature nonsense for the tweens. I must admit though, this dude’s gimmick shirt spotted at a Coachella after-party in 2009 was pretty amazing.
Coachella Fashion DO — wear a basic t-shirt in a solid color or funky pattern. Even better, wear a tank top! The ladies love men in stylish tank tops, especially funky stripes. Whatever you choose, just make sure it’s 100 percent cotton, don’t be wearing any wool hippie shit from Peru, or some 70s disco-style nylon long-sleeved shirt. Again, you will stink. Keep it simple and comfortable. You can find a super soft and perfect fitting t-shirt, or a spicy polo.
Coachella Fashion DON’T — wear Kanye glasses (aka shutter shades). Just put it this way, those Kanye West-style sunglasses were a part of my six-year-old niece’s grab bag at her One Direction birthday party. So unless you’re under 10 years of age, or are just a super douche, do not wear Kanye glasses. You’ll be way more steezy and sexy with a $5 Ray-Ban or Oliver Peoples knock off from Santee Alley, or any stylish cheapies here.
Coachella Fashion DO — wear big sun hats. And no, this functional fashion is not just for the ladies. It’s especially for all you fair skinned boys. Don’t be afraid to wear a big sun hat, because while you’re guzzling beers, you’re not going to remember to keep applying sunblock. So do yourself a solid and preserve that fair skin before you end up looking like this guy. This dude’s hat is on point, so is his and so is his. You can find yourself a stylish and functional sun hat at Brixton. They are the go-to brand for men’s hats and more.
Coachella Fashion DON’T — wear flip flops. Yes, I know, they seem like a GREAT idea because it’s hot, sunny and you’re on a grassy polo field — but just don’t do it. There’s a lot of gnarly shit on the ground and in porta potties that you definitely don’t want getting lodged in your toes. Not to mention, do you really want some drunk girl stomping all over you feet in her boots?
Coachella Fashion DO — pack a handkerchief or scarf! Weekend one at Coachella got super windy and created some very unpleasant dust storms. Unless you want to wake up with some painful and hard dust boogers lodged in your nose, please get a hanky! It doesn’t have to be abnormally huge like this guy’s, but perhaps something more like this gal’s. Cheap, fun prints here!
Coachella Fashion DON’T — wear any onesies. Not only do you look stupid, but can you imagine how sweaty and stink you will get? And especially don’t ever wear a gold lamé onesie. Anything lamé will make your Coachella sweat stick to you like glue, your skin will not breathe and you will smell like a homeless person’s private parts. DON’T DO IT.
Coachella Fashion DO — Who says fashion is all about the body? Style up your Coachella habitat with some throw rugs perfect for your camping space or your festival pre-game on the lawn of your Coachella house rental. You can even create an inviting boho-chic tail gate party by throwing one of these fine rugs down in the parking lot. Less dust up your butt, more room for new friends. We love this Moroccan inspired rug with its soft turquoise blues. Or perhaps your want some organic drum circle ambiance, or a rug that reminds you of the ocean.
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Have any other coachella fashion dos and don’ts for men? Let us know in a comment below!
Coachella 2018 will take place across two weekends: April 13-15 and April 20-22.
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